![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
I STILL want porn of Jay/another male human of appropriate age (not Ienzo) (maybe a male troll of appropriate age) (if you want) figuring out how to have sex given that Jay's not cis. I want it to be all kinds of awkward (but kind of touching) (except for the part where Jay is as mouthy as always)
(Let's pretend you don't know who this is)
(Even though it's screamingly obvious)
(Let's pretend you don't know who this is)
(Even though it's screamingly obvious)
this didnt get filled please fill it for me
tony carefully builds a labyrinth that, when seen from a height, forms a picture of zac efron's face. he traps bertie and ienzo inside. to secure their freedom they must perform the entirety of high school musical
tony carefully builds a labyrinth that, when seen from a height, forms a picture of zac efron's face. he traps bertie and ienzo inside. to secure their freedom they must perform the entirety of high school musical
I'm pretty sure this prompt just wrote itself, buddy. What could any of us do to improve it?
>__>
Oh? (http://jarspammed.dreamwidth.org/51555.html?thread=8232291#cmt8232291)
Oh? (http://jarspammed.dreamwidth.org/51555.html?thread=8232291#cmt8232291)
sexy mirrorverse!jj shenanigans
someone get sent to the agonizer booth
someone get sent to the agonizer booth
where the mother fucking shit is my bittersweet futurefic. where the mother fucking shit
Lord, but it’s been a literal dragon’s age since I sat down to type at this old writer. Or at least, this fellow’s gone dragonish in the interim with wrinkles covering from heads to spats. 90 years! Has it really been 90?
I’ve just asked Ienzo and he assures me I’m 91. Chuh, I said to him! A man can keep any accounting of his age that he’d like so long as it’s within the realm of reason. I don’t tend to count the year in the game, you see? I mean, how were we supposed to measure things properly in there?
Right, but the purpose of all this, the raison d'être, as it were, is to make note of where we’ve all scattered to in this magnificent new universe. I know it would be easy enough to pop over to the computer and have at it there, but there’s something about putting it down in indelible ink that
Well, now I’ve made a typo. Let me fetch the liquid paper.
There. Indelible. Tricksy word that.
Where to start is the real question. The Doctor’s death in the fight with the Black Monarchs? God, that was hard. We expected to have a few birds fall, but the ones who’d managed god tier, not the fellow directing everyone like the very finest general. I’d been stood next to him, and I couldn’t do a dashed thing because the blighter jumped in front of me. We were both down to one life at the time, so he knew full well he wasn’t coming back from that. I recall yelling at him because that positive pustule just smiled and told me to be fantastic.
I’ve gone a bit soggy around the edges. I’ll beg your pardon for a moment, what?
Some happier times, to balance the bad, then! The first few years out of the game were wonderful. A merry band at my side to adventure with and all that: Ienzo, Jay and Ammond of course, Rhyme, Effy, Riku, Kairi, Nephel, Draco, Cassandra, Sirius, Remus, Geshua, Dasraa, Sollux, both Karkats, Theo, Sleipnir, and Yuna. You’ll pardon this old bird’s familiarity in naming. We got to know each other rather well. Anyway, there would have been more, I’m sure, but Ms. Redglare and Ms. Zhosma went much as the Doctor did. And, erm... Xigbar didn’t make it either, but I’m certain that was due to more nefarious machinations, though I couldn’t prove it.
Gentaro and his own party kept in touch. We made it a deal to head in opposite directions in our new universe and report on all of the things that really made our eyes pop out of our heads. That faded with time, though. Distance and all that. I do wonder how he’s doing. I sometimes think about striking out to find him, but Jay’s a clever fellow. Every time I bring it up, he goes to fetch some tea. I mean, nothing makes a man feel more grounded and home-minded than a solid cuppa. One day, I shall flee while he’s in the kitchen and nothing more shall be heard until my triumphant return with a gray-bearded Kamen Rider in tow! (I’ve learned all the lingo, and the handshake, come to that.)
As for the fellows I stuck to, Cassandra, Geshua, and their cadre peeled off to settle on a very English planet. Solid slate skies in what passes for a winter, but brilliant springs that put one in a merry-making mood, I’m assured by Sirius. He and Cassandra got married, actually. Ages on once our doggy man had settled a bit. They’ve got kids and grandkids now. I have trouble keeping track of the names, but we’ve chatted over the whatsit and they’re a lovely bunch. One might go so far as to say the bee’s knees!
Sorry to say Geshua, Dasraa, Sollux, and Karkat (the troll one) passed on long before their times. Dasraa (an ancient fellow at such a tender age) explained it to me as just being part of the order of things. Cassandra’s made it out all right from that. Sirus, Remus, Draco, Yuna, Riku, and Kairi must have helped with that.
Talking of those last two, they rang their own wedding bells soon enough after they settled on the planet du Mortmain-Black. I thought I sensed that gleam in Kairi’s eye for her young buck, but you can never be certain with girls. They haven’t got any miniatures of themselves running about so far as I know, but Ienzo might have a better sense.
He says they decided not to. Given what most little girls and boys are like that I know from home, that might be a wise decision. Also, what with the parents, they’d have probably stubborned Kairi and Riku into an early grave.
Sleipnir and Theo have got their own family, too. That started while we were still traveling. They broke away along with Karkat (the human one) to see to raising it properly. Their home planet now is a sort of wilderness. I understand the materials available are ripe for brewing and building. Theo’s visited to bring me a bottle of his best. Lord, but the stuff could put a man under just from the smell!
I do believe we went through it in a very wild week. We being myself and Jay. Ienzo said we’d liquefy our livers. Hah! Always nice to prove that fellow wrong once in a while. Keeps him on his toes, what?
Who does that leave? Ah, Rhyme, Effy, and Nephel. Well, true to her word, Rhyme travelled with us for an awfully long time. I got to see her grow up to become the most beautiful young lady. The sort who’d stop a man’s heart if he happened to catch her at a sideways angle. I suppose men didn’t really factor into it, though. She decided to start a home with Effy and Nephel in the end. They’re happy old biddies now (though Nephel certainly doesn’t look it), and we keep well in touch, having all settled down on the same planet.
It’s a lovely place with rocky beaches and mountains and forests. The rugged sort of terrain that puts a man into the mood for tromping about with a hatchet slung over his shoulder and an Athenianly-bright eye toward the best trees. Mostly I’m to be found on the pier fishing these days, though. Not sleeping, though, Ienzo would have you believe otherwise.
And as for self and dearest chums? Ms. Ammond went decades ago, I’m so very sorry to day. She was a fiery old girl to the last! Told Ienzo he mustn’t do anything stupid and for Jay and me to box him soundly if he did. Not Eridan, though. That would be giving the fellow too much license for violence. She also gave me her sleeping darts in case we needed them. I’m happy to say we haven’t, but it was something of a comfort to know they were there just in case. She’s buried just a little ways away from the house, up in a forest clearing. I chat with her every few days, though that journey’s been getting a little harder for my old bones these days, especially when it’s cold. Still, I’m determined to keep her apprised of events, as I promised her. Even if it’s just Jay being a bit of a pill or Eridan going on about guns and fighting, she said she’d like to know. I let her know how Rhyme and her girls are doing, as well. They visit regularly enough that it sticks in this cotton head of mine.
Jay’s still here, though he’s grayer than me some days, it seems. He’s said his necromancing gave him a good few more years than might be expected. One of the happy things to come out of that! He’s turned out to be a good man. The one I was certain was lurking within when we first met. He’s still a sour fellow when the mood takes him and will argue till the moon’s set if he gets it in his mind to be contrary, but he’s made his peace with life. I still wish I could have found him another man to love after Klaus. But such is the way of things. He’s born up with grace and dignity.
Eridan’s with us, too. More or less. He’s got his own place out in the ocean, but he comes ashore every day to say what ho and bring us fish or whatnot for dinner. Thoughtful fellow like that. He says it’s stupid, but it reminds him a bit of having to feed, erm... Glub-boyle? I never have gotten a spelling out of him, but it’s some sort of squid that belonged to Ms. Feferi on Alternia. He’s dashed tall now and fit as you like still. I think he’s trying to court Nephel, but he’s not having the best of luck if ‘she just doesn’t understand the hemospectrum’ is anything to go by. I try to keep him level enough and, it’s a bit embarrassing, but he’s called me a ‘good moirail’ more than once. I’m worried what’s going to happen to him when I’m keeping Ammond company in the clearing on a permanent basis. I hope he’ll manage.
And last, but far from least, there’s Ienzo. I met him when I was 25, a young man by most standards. Now at 90 (or 91 if he wants to be precise), I can honestly say that 65 or even 66 years isn’t nearly enough time to have loved him. There are more words than pages available to sum up how happy he’s made me over that time. And frustrated, and annoyed, and angry, and sad, and confused, and every single other emotion. We never got married. Not formally, anyway. Once we’d settled on this planet, we were out exploring while Effy, Nephel, and Rhyme went hunting for food and Jay, Eridan, and Ammond managed building the house – never again after that because Lord in Heaven above, the number of injuries resulting from that group being left alone together is one for the history books. It just came over me to ask him, I’m not entirely sure why, if he wouldn’t like to have a last name, specifically mine. I was very matter-of-fact about it, which seemed to catch him off guard. He dithered a bit, turning red as you like, but then pushed me up against a tree and said yes before kissing me soundly.
We didn’t tell the others, but I could swear they’re all telepathic what with how short a time it took for Ammond to reiterate her warning about hurting him, and Jay to do likewise, but with Ienzo. Rhyme, as well, which Ienzo said was probably one of the most awkward conversations he’s ever managed. Given how he is – much as I love him – that’s certainly saying something. Luckily, Eridan’s remained oblivious, though I think that’s rather willful on his part.
I’m not sure who might read this, so I’ll just say that as far as lying with Ienzo is concerned, it was very nice. Incredibly embarrassing and a little difficult to manage at first, but we hit our stride, as it were. I’m rather horrified to say that I turned to Jay’s old copy of In the Seraglio of the Iron Sheik for assistance, but I didn’t want to disappoint, what? Ienzo laughed at me, but he went along with it, and I saw him paging through it when he thought no one was watching ages ago.
I know there must be old chums I’ve left out, but my memory was never the best, even when I was a youngish cove. I hope they’re all doing well. And for my friends, for my ‘niece,’ Rhyme, and for the man who has my heart, I just wanted to say that I have loved you all so very much. I’m sorry if we’ve lost one another over the years, but I will remember you fondly when I can, well, remember to. I hope you’ll do likewise.
Signed,
Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
---
Ienzo slowly sets the last page down. He’d been cleaning out Bertie’s study and found the thing in a box on one of the low shelves. Tears streak his face and he hurries to wipe them away. When had Bertie written this? Three years ago if he had been 91. Ienzo doesn’t recall seeing him working away at it, but then, he’s neglected climbing the stairs for some time when it wasn’t necessary.
Cleaning out the study had been something he’d needed to do for months now, though. Jay certainly wasn’t going to do it, he didn’t trust Eridan to (and the troll had hardly come out of the ocean since Bertie’s passing), and he couldn’t possibly ask Rhyme, Effy, or Nephel. It was too personal a space. It still smelled faintly like Bertie.
He’s never been the best with emotions, even after years of having them, but Ienzo feels there’s something he can do here. Perhaps it might even help the wound in his heart. A quick search turns up a pen and Ienzo smoothes the last page in front of him where Bertie’s signed.
I love you, too.
Signed,
Ienzo Wooster
I’ve just asked Ienzo and he assures me I’m 91. Chuh, I said to him! A man can keep any accounting of his age that he’d like so long as it’s within the realm of reason. I don’t tend to count the year in the game, you see? I mean, how were we supposed to measure things properly in there?
Right, but the purpose of all this, the raison d'être, as it were, is to make note of where we’ve all scattered to in this magnificent new universe. I know it would be easy enough to pop over to the computer and have at it there, but there’s something about putting it down in indelible ink that
Well, now I’ve made a typo. Let me fetch the liquid paper.
There. Indelible. Tricksy word that.
Where to start is the real question. The Doctor’s death in the fight with the Black Monarchs? God, that was hard. We expected to have a few birds fall, but the ones who’d managed god tier, not the fellow directing everyone like the very finest general. I’d been stood next to him, and I couldn’t do a dashed thing because the blighter jumped in front of me. We were both down to one life at the time, so he knew full well he wasn’t coming back from that. I recall yelling at him because that positive pustule just smiled and told me to be fantastic.
I’ve gone a bit soggy around the edges. I’ll beg your pardon for a moment, what?
Some happier times, to balance the bad, then! The first few years out of the game were wonderful. A merry band at my side to adventure with and all that: Ienzo, Jay and Ammond of course, Rhyme, Effy, Riku, Kairi, Nephel, Draco, Cassandra, Sirius, Remus, Geshua, Dasraa, Sollux, both Karkats, Theo, Sleipnir, and Yuna. You’ll pardon this old bird’s familiarity in naming. We got to know each other rather well. Anyway, there would have been more, I’m sure, but Ms. Redglare and Ms. Zhosma went much as the Doctor did. And, erm... Xigbar didn’t make it either, but I’m certain that was due to more nefarious machinations, though I couldn’t prove it.
Gentaro and his own party kept in touch. We made it a deal to head in opposite directions in our new universe and report on all of the things that really made our eyes pop out of our heads. That faded with time, though. Distance and all that. I do wonder how he’s doing. I sometimes think about striking out to find him, but Jay’s a clever fellow. Every time I bring it up, he goes to fetch some tea. I mean, nothing makes a man feel more grounded and home-minded than a solid cuppa. One day, I shall flee while he’s in the kitchen and nothing more shall be heard until my triumphant return with a gray-bearded Kamen Rider in tow! (I’ve learned all the lingo, and the handshake, come to that.)
As for the fellows I stuck to, Cassandra, Geshua, and their cadre peeled off to settle on a very English planet. Solid slate skies in what passes for a winter, but brilliant springs that put one in a merry-making mood, I’m assured by Sirius. He and Cassandra got married, actually. Ages on once our doggy man had settled a bit. They’ve got kids and grandkids now. I have trouble keeping track of the names, but we’ve chatted over the whatsit and they’re a lovely bunch. One might go so far as to say the bee’s knees!
Sorry to say Geshua, Dasraa, Sollux, and Karkat (the troll one) passed on long before their times. Dasraa (an ancient fellow at such a tender age) explained it to me as just being part of the order of things. Cassandra’s made it out all right from that. Sirus, Remus, Draco, Yuna, Riku, and Kairi must have helped with that.
Talking of those last two, they rang their own wedding bells soon enough after they settled on the planet du Mortmain-Black. I thought I sensed that gleam in Kairi’s eye for her young buck, but you can never be certain with girls. They haven’t got any miniatures of themselves running about so far as I know, but Ienzo might have a better sense.
He says they decided not to. Given what most little girls and boys are like that I know from home, that might be a wise decision. Also, what with the parents, they’d have probably stubborned Kairi and Riku into an early grave.
Sleipnir and Theo have got their own family, too. That started while we were still traveling. They broke away along with Karkat (the human one) to see to raising it properly. Their home planet now is a sort of wilderness. I understand the materials available are ripe for brewing and building. Theo’s visited to bring me a bottle of his best. Lord, but the stuff could put a man under just from the smell!
I do believe we went through it in a very wild week. We being myself and Jay. Ienzo said we’d liquefy our livers. Hah! Always nice to prove that fellow wrong once in a while. Keeps him on his toes, what?
Who does that leave? Ah, Rhyme, Effy, and Nephel. Well, true to her word, Rhyme travelled with us for an awfully long time. I got to see her grow up to become the most beautiful young lady. The sort who’d stop a man’s heart if he happened to catch her at a sideways angle. I suppose men didn’t really factor into it, though. She decided to start a home with Effy and Nephel in the end. They’re happy old biddies now (though Nephel certainly doesn’t look it), and we keep well in touch, having all settled down on the same planet.
It’s a lovely place with rocky beaches and mountains and forests. The rugged sort of terrain that puts a man into the mood for tromping about with a hatchet slung over his shoulder and an Athenianly-bright eye toward the best trees. Mostly I’m to be found on the pier fishing these days, though. Not sleeping, though, Ienzo would have you believe otherwise.
And as for self and dearest chums? Ms. Ammond went decades ago, I’m so very sorry to day. She was a fiery old girl to the last! Told Ienzo he mustn’t do anything stupid and for Jay and me to box him soundly if he did. Not Eridan, though. That would be giving the fellow too much license for violence. She also gave me her sleeping darts in case we needed them. I’m happy to say we haven’t, but it was something of a comfort to know they were there just in case. She’s buried just a little ways away from the house, up in a forest clearing. I chat with her every few days, though that journey’s been getting a little harder for my old bones these days, especially when it’s cold. Still, I’m determined to keep her apprised of events, as I promised her. Even if it’s just Jay being a bit of a pill or Eridan going on about guns and fighting, she said she’d like to know. I let her know how Rhyme and her girls are doing, as well. They visit regularly enough that it sticks in this cotton head of mine.
Jay’s still here, though he’s grayer than me some days, it seems. He’s said his necromancing gave him a good few more years than might be expected. One of the happy things to come out of that! He’s turned out to be a good man. The one I was certain was lurking within when we first met. He’s still a sour fellow when the mood takes him and will argue till the moon’s set if he gets it in his mind to be contrary, but he’s made his peace with life. I still wish I could have found him another man to love after Klaus. But such is the way of things. He’s born up with grace and dignity.
Eridan’s with us, too. More or less. He’s got his own place out in the ocean, but he comes ashore every day to say what ho and bring us fish or whatnot for dinner. Thoughtful fellow like that. He says it’s stupid, but it reminds him a bit of having to feed, erm... Glub-boyle? I never have gotten a spelling out of him, but it’s some sort of squid that belonged to Ms. Feferi on Alternia. He’s dashed tall now and fit as you like still. I think he’s trying to court Nephel, but he’s not having the best of luck if ‘she just doesn’t understand the hemospectrum’ is anything to go by. I try to keep him level enough and, it’s a bit embarrassing, but he’s called me a ‘good moirail’ more than once. I’m worried what’s going to happen to him when I’m keeping Ammond company in the clearing on a permanent basis. I hope he’ll manage.
And last, but far from least, there’s Ienzo. I met him when I was 25, a young man by most standards. Now at 90 (or 91 if he wants to be precise), I can honestly say that 65 or even 66 years isn’t nearly enough time to have loved him. There are more words than pages available to sum up how happy he’s made me over that time. And frustrated, and annoyed, and angry, and sad, and confused, and every single other emotion. We never got married. Not formally, anyway. Once we’d settled on this planet, we were out exploring while Effy, Nephel, and Rhyme went hunting for food and Jay, Eridan, and Ammond managed building the house – never again after that because Lord in Heaven above, the number of injuries resulting from that group being left alone together is one for the history books. It just came over me to ask him, I’m not entirely sure why, if he wouldn’t like to have a last name, specifically mine. I was very matter-of-fact about it, which seemed to catch him off guard. He dithered a bit, turning red as you like, but then pushed me up against a tree and said yes before kissing me soundly.
We didn’t tell the others, but I could swear they’re all telepathic what with how short a time it took for Ammond to reiterate her warning about hurting him, and Jay to do likewise, but with Ienzo. Rhyme, as well, which Ienzo said was probably one of the most awkward conversations he’s ever managed. Given how he is – much as I love him – that’s certainly saying something. Luckily, Eridan’s remained oblivious, though I think that’s rather willful on his part.
I’m not sure who might read this, so I’ll just say that as far as lying with Ienzo is concerned, it was very nice. Incredibly embarrassing and a little difficult to manage at first, but we hit our stride, as it were. I’m rather horrified to say that I turned to Jay’s old copy of In the Seraglio of the Iron Sheik for assistance, but I didn’t want to disappoint, what? Ienzo laughed at me, but he went along with it, and I saw him paging through it when he thought no one was watching ages ago.
I know there must be old chums I’ve left out, but my memory was never the best, even when I was a youngish cove. I hope they’re all doing well. And for my friends, for my ‘niece,’ Rhyme, and for the man who has my heart, I just wanted to say that I have loved you all so very much. I’m sorry if we’ve lost one another over the years, but I will remember you fondly when I can, well, remember to. I hope you’ll do likewise.
Signed,
Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
---
Ienzo slowly sets the last page down. He’d been cleaning out Bertie’s study and found the thing in a box on one of the low shelves. Tears streak his face and he hurries to wipe them away. When had Bertie written this? Three years ago if he had been 91. Ienzo doesn’t recall seeing him working away at it, but then, he’s neglected climbing the stairs for some time when it wasn’t necessary.
Cleaning out the study had been something he’d needed to do for months now, though. Jay certainly wasn’t going to do it, he didn’t trust Eridan to (and the troll had hardly come out of the ocean since Bertie’s passing), and he couldn’t possibly ask Rhyme, Effy, or Nephel. It was too personal a space. It still smelled faintly like Bertie.
He’s never been the best with emotions, even after years of having them, but Ienzo feels there’s something he can do here. Perhaps it might even help the wound in his heart. A quick search turns up a pen and Ienzo smoothes the last page in front of him where Bertie’s signed.
I love you, too.
Signed,
Ienzo Wooster
more bitter than sweet and probably wayyyy too miseryporn, but here. Blue Skies.
(Anonymous) - 2013-03-24 21:08 (UTC) - ExpandRe: more bitter than sweet and probably wayyyy too miseryporn, but here. Blue Skies.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
itsbraveanditburns
- 2013-03-24 21:26 (UTC) - ExpandRe: more bitter than sweet and probably wayyyy too miseryporn, but here. Blue Skies.
psycheslantern
- 2013-03-24 22:13 (UTC) - ExpandRe: ok hi i'm boarding the sadtrain to sadsville as well
(Anonymous) - 2013-03-26 18:20 (UTC) - ExpandRe: one from the same ending as that second bertie fic
sparkfetish
- 2013-03-27 18:21 (UTC) - ExpandNO SCREW YOU AND SCREW MISERY GENTARO'S A NAKASHIMA PROTAGANIST
uchuukita
- 2013-03-27 08:01 (UTC) - Expandeveryone goes home universe, more sweet than bitter (sorry)
(Anonymous) - 2013-03-31 09:20 (UTC) - ExpandRe: everyone goes home universe, more sweet than bitter (sorry)
dandelioneater
- 2013-03-31 21:45 (UTC) - ExpandDraco malfoy making sweet sweet love to a teapot (the teapot tops)
I still want my double GamKar fourway pile, goddamnit. Art people, get to it.
theosleip get freaky in the most satanic bedroom of all time
they turn the statue of baphomet to face the wall to spare his poor eyes
Jay. Forced heterosexuality. Lady of your choice, but this anon wouldn't mind if it's Mary.
This anon also wouldn't mind Jay's carefully chosen and tailored clothes getting ripped off and generally destroyed/torn.
writing. on the skin. on cassandra's skin. please
cass in a really sharp suit, sirius in a gorgeous gown
they do it.
they do it.
GHB/Redglare get it on while interrogating someone. Maybe that someone is Troll!Sirius, since ANONYMITY IS A LIE, and his despair will make everything 110% sexier.
resposting vriska being fucked while armless because i have a fill half-done
theo's denizen and billy's denizen get in on
they're both huge spider dudes who like a good story okay whats' a better story than 'i fucked a huge spider dude one time'
they're both huge spider dudes who like a good story okay whats' a better story than 'i fucked a huge spider dude one time'
i hate the spiderman but i fucked the spiderman
Gamzee hatches those eggs he laid and raises whatever horrible abominations hatch.
jojo and his sprite are boyfriends right
write me a fill of them figuring out how the hell to have sex now that one of them doesn't have any junk
write me a fill of them figuring out how the hell to have sex now that one of them doesn't have any junk
Gumshoe tries to flirt with somebody and ends up falsely convicting them of a murder instead
(cries for a week)
(cries for a week)
bonus points if it's jay
jayshoe (gumjay?) forever
jayshoe (gumjay?) forever
Someone in chat once said that they thought the scratch would result in everyone being reborn as bunnypeople like Poppy.
I propose a fic where this happens and, as a result, they all fuck like rabbits.
I propose a fic where this happens and, as a result, they all fuck like rabbits.
gratituous pale things
tavros/nephel
cass/sirius
any other ones that i can't think of at the moment
wait how about signless/doctor they're both just giant pale whores
please i have a need
any or all
ANY OR ALL
tavros/nephel
cass/sirius
any other ones that i can't think of at the moment
wait how about signless/doctor they're both just giant pale whores
please i have a need
any or all
ANY OR ALL
Complete the circle of sex couch with Sliepnir and Ienzo
Reposting this because god damn it Jarjammed I was in the middle of a fill for it seriously fastest kinkmeme refractory period in the west here
Reposting this because god damn it Jarjammed I was in the middle of a fill for it seriously fastest kinkmeme refractory period in the west here
"Your husband," Ienzo says, slowly, "had sex with my- with Bertie just the other day, and may I remind you that I am currently in a relationship with him." He folds his arms over his chest, glaring.
"Ohh," says Sleipnir. There is a long pause while the two of them stare at each other. Ienzo stops scowling a few moments in as the awkward tension of the situation overwhelms his indignation, but maintains eye contact, for lack of a better idea of what to do. Eventually, Sleipnir speaks up again. "Did he tell you if it was any good?"
"What?"
"I'm asking if the sex was any good," she repeats, folding her arms over her chest in turn. "I'd hate to hear that Theo's underperforming."
"I- I fail to see how that's at all relevant," he snaps, feeling the heat of a fierce blush start to creep up on him. "Or at all appropriate. That isn't something you just casually discuss."
"Well, maybe it's not something you casually discuss,” replies Sleipnir, shrugging. “Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
This gives Ienzo some pause, as he’s not actually sure what he expected to come of this conversation. He was upset and felt the need to confront someone about it to be sure, but what reaction was he really expecting there? It occurs to him that he possible should have thought this out further. Sleipnir clears her throat, effectively snapping him out of his examination of his life choices.
“Well,” she says. “While I’m here, would you like to have sex too?”
“What?”
“Theo and I have already had sex on Bertie’s couch, and so have Theo and Bertie.” Sleipnir counts these off on her fingers as she goes, in roguish mock-contemplation. “And have you and Bertie taken the opportunity?”
Ienzo blushes intensely in a way that clearly indicates that yes, they did.
“Then the way I see it,” she continues, grinning broadly. “It’s only fair that we round things out a bit. If you want to, of course.”
“I- ah,” is all he manages to stutter out, feeling himself heat up intensely at the way she’s looking at him. He’s not repulsed by the idea by any means: Sleipnir is very attractive and he already knows what she smells like after... such acts, which has caused him quite enough problems in the past few days, but is it really all right?
After another moment of thought, Ienzo swallows hard and nods. He’ll consider the implications later. Right now it’s too much to think about clearly.
Sleipnir smiles and leans in to kiss him on the bridge of his nose. “You’re awfully cute, you know. And just in time to help me test out a surprise I’ve been making for Theo.”
Getting undressed is an awkward experience. Sleipnir’s coveralls come off with a practiced ease, but Ienzo’s clothes don’t go so easily, especially with the way that he fusses over them. Eventually Sleipnir gets fed up and steps in to help, being additionally experienced in ludicrous numbers of layers, and soon enough he’s down to his undershirt and pants. He pauses, hands on the hem of his shirt, and looks up at her.
“Don’t. Tell anyone about this, all right?”
“All right,” says Sleipnir, a little confused about what he’s asking until he pulls his shirt off and slips out of his pants and underpants.
“Do you still want to do this?” Ienzo asks quietly, adjusting his binder self-consciously. Sleipnir just smiles and kisses him on the lips gently.
“Of course,” she says. “Now lie down.” He complies, sitting down on the couch and lying back while she sits down next to him and decaptchalogs a strange device. With a critical eye, she runs a finger down its tapered length, starting at the thick base where it attaches to its harness and ending at the blunt tip. Once satisfied that everything is in good working order, she holds it out for Ienzo to examine. “This is what I’ve been working on. See, Theo was telling me a little about troll anatomy-- he had some hands on experience while I was away, the lucky devil-- and it got me thinking about how much fun it would be to try to mimic some aspects of it. What do you think? It’s self-lubricating!”
“It’s. It’s awfully large,” says Ienzo, examining it warily.
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s not all supposed to fit inside at once, and I’ll be gentle with you. So are you interested?”
Ienzo, after another moment to consider just what the hell is happening here and the fact that he’s already agreed to this much, nods silently and spreads his legs slightly. Sleipnir grins excitedly and kisses him again before standing up to step into the harness and fasten it around her waist, adjusting the straps into a comfortable configuration and then reaching down to flip a switch at its base. The device springs to life, lifting up and wriggling slightly, curling dexterously around Sleipnir’s fingers when she reaches down to caress it. After giving her invention one final check-over to make sure it’s working as planned, she gets back onto the couch, kneeling between Ienzo’s slim thighs, moving her hips slightly to push it against him.
“Ah!” Ienzo yelps, jerking back after it rubs hard against his clit unexpectedly. It’s startlingly warm for a prehensile metal tentacle, and there’s a slight vibration to it that he was not at all prepared for.
“Sorry,” Sleipnir says, hurriedly. “It’s got a bit of a mind of its own.” She gives him a few seconds to recover before trying again, letting it trace his labia gently this time and waiting until he starts to rock against it before pushing forward, slipping the very tip inside.
Ienzo gasps at the strange and alien sensation of having something with such a range of motion and so little give to it inside of him and rubbing against places that have never been touched before, and finds himself having to bite down hard on his lip to keep from crying out. He wraps his legs around her and clings to her shoulders as she eases more and more of it inside of him, until after an agonizingly long moment it’s as deep as it will go. Both of them are breathing very hard (and Ienzo notes, hazily, that there must be some sort of mechanism built into the harness for Sleipnir’s stimulation as well) and before he knows it he’s scrabbling at Sleipnir’s back, whimpering and moaning as his back arches and his whole body goes tense all at once.
Taking this as her cue to wind things down, Sleipnir reaches down and switches off her device, pulling out with a deliberate slowness so as not to hurt Ienzo. She then captchalogs it again and settles next to him to stroke herself to finish, her free arm wrapped around him gently as he writhes and whimpers at the aftershocks.
“What am I going to tell Bertie?” Ienzo asks once sufficient time has passed for him to be able to think clearly again, quiet and dismayed.
“Just tell him what he told you,” Sleipnir murmurs, holding him gently and kissing his forehead.
“He told me it was because of the sofa.”
“Oh.” She sits back a bit, pausing to consider this. “Well, that’s a bit strange.”
"Ohh," says Sleipnir. There is a long pause while the two of them stare at each other. Ienzo stops scowling a few moments in as the awkward tension of the situation overwhelms his indignation, but maintains eye contact, for lack of a better idea of what to do. Eventually, Sleipnir speaks up again. "Did he tell you if it was any good?"
"What?"
"I'm asking if the sex was any good," she repeats, folding her arms over her chest in turn. "I'd hate to hear that Theo's underperforming."
"I- I fail to see how that's at all relevant," he snaps, feeling the heat of a fierce blush start to creep up on him. "Or at all appropriate. That isn't something you just casually discuss."
"Well, maybe it's not something you casually discuss,” replies Sleipnir, shrugging. “Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
This gives Ienzo some pause, as he’s not actually sure what he expected to come of this conversation. He was upset and felt the need to confront someone about it to be sure, but what reaction was he really expecting there? It occurs to him that he possible should have thought this out further. Sleipnir clears her throat, effectively snapping him out of his examination of his life choices.
“Well,” she says. “While I’m here, would you like to have sex too?”
“What?”
“Theo and I have already had sex on Bertie’s couch, and so have Theo and Bertie.” Sleipnir counts these off on her fingers as she goes, in roguish mock-contemplation. “And have you and Bertie taken the opportunity?”
Ienzo blushes intensely in a way that clearly indicates that yes, they did.
“Then the way I see it,” she continues, grinning broadly. “It’s only fair that we round things out a bit. If you want to, of course.”
“I- ah,” is all he manages to stutter out, feeling himself heat up intensely at the way she’s looking at him. He’s not repulsed by the idea by any means: Sleipnir is very attractive and he already knows what she smells like after... such acts, which has caused him quite enough problems in the past few days, but is it really all right?
After another moment of thought, Ienzo swallows hard and nods. He’ll consider the implications later. Right now it’s too much to think about clearly.
Sleipnir smiles and leans in to kiss him on the bridge of his nose. “You’re awfully cute, you know. And just in time to help me test out a surprise I’ve been making for Theo.”
Getting undressed is an awkward experience. Sleipnir’s coveralls come off with a practiced ease, but Ienzo’s clothes don’t go so easily, especially with the way that he fusses over them. Eventually Sleipnir gets fed up and steps in to help, being additionally experienced in ludicrous numbers of layers, and soon enough he’s down to his undershirt and pants. He pauses, hands on the hem of his shirt, and looks up at her.
“Don’t. Tell anyone about this, all right?”
“All right,” says Sleipnir, a little confused about what he’s asking until he pulls his shirt off and slips out of his pants and underpants.
“Do you still want to do this?” Ienzo asks quietly, adjusting his binder self-consciously. Sleipnir just smiles and kisses him on the lips gently.
“Of course,” she says. “Now lie down.” He complies, sitting down on the couch and lying back while she sits down next to him and decaptchalogs a strange device. With a critical eye, she runs a finger down its tapered length, starting at the thick base where it attaches to its harness and ending at the blunt tip. Once satisfied that everything is in good working order, she holds it out for Ienzo to examine. “This is what I’ve been working on. See, Theo was telling me a little about troll anatomy-- he had some hands on experience while I was away, the lucky devil-- and it got me thinking about how much fun it would be to try to mimic some aspects of it. What do you think? It’s self-lubricating!”
“It’s. It’s awfully large,” says Ienzo, examining it warily.
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s not all supposed to fit inside at once, and I’ll be gentle with you. So are you interested?”
Ienzo, after another moment to consider just what the hell is happening here and the fact that he’s already agreed to this much, nods silently and spreads his legs slightly. Sleipnir grins excitedly and kisses him again before standing up to step into the harness and fasten it around her waist, adjusting the straps into a comfortable configuration and then reaching down to flip a switch at its base. The device springs to life, lifting up and wriggling slightly, curling dexterously around Sleipnir’s fingers when she reaches down to caress it. After giving her invention one final check-over to make sure it’s working as planned, she gets back onto the couch, kneeling between Ienzo’s slim thighs, moving her hips slightly to push it against him.
“Ah!” Ienzo yelps, jerking back after it rubs hard against his clit unexpectedly. It’s startlingly warm for a prehensile metal tentacle, and there’s a slight vibration to it that he was not at all prepared for.
“Sorry,” Sleipnir says, hurriedly. “It’s got a bit of a mind of its own.” She gives him a few seconds to recover before trying again, letting it trace his labia gently this time and waiting until he starts to rock against it before pushing forward, slipping the very tip inside.
Ienzo gasps at the strange and alien sensation of having something with such a range of motion and so little give to it inside of him and rubbing against places that have never been touched before, and finds himself having to bite down hard on his lip to keep from crying out. He wraps his legs around her and clings to her shoulders as she eases more and more of it inside of him, until after an agonizingly long moment it’s as deep as it will go. Both of them are breathing very hard (and Ienzo notes, hazily, that there must be some sort of mechanism built into the harness for Sleipnir’s stimulation as well) and before he knows it he’s scrabbling at Sleipnir’s back, whimpering and moaning as his back arches and his whole body goes tense all at once.
Taking this as her cue to wind things down, Sleipnir reaches down and switches off her device, pulling out with a deliberate slowness so as not to hurt Ienzo. She then captchalogs it again and settles next to him to stroke herself to finish, her free arm wrapped around him gently as he writhes and whimpers at the aftershocks.
“What am I going to tell Bertie?” Ienzo asks once sufficient time has passed for him to be able to think clearly again, quiet and dismayed.
“Just tell him what he told you,” Sleipnir murmurs, holding him gently and kissing his forehead.
“He told me it was because of the sofa.”
“Oh.” She sits back a bit, pausing to consider this. “Well, that’s a bit strange.”
Billy's denizen starts a gossip rag.
Write the articles. All romance types permitted. Including totally imaginary "they looked at each other" type of gossip.
Write the articles. All romance types permitted. Including totally imaginary "they looked at each other" type of gossip.
Page 1 of 2